is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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