dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
