I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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