Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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