Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
