Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
operation have a gay friend backfired
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
