i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
