You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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