I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
