I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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