i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We are two peas in an std pod
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
