it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize