wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize