So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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