mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
