this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
