I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think i have two assholes
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
