this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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