There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
