They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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