We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I want is dick and wine.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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