Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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