I'm eating all of the evidence.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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