Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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