my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize