she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
