Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
