i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
