I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
