I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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