Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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