Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
