So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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