Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
