I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
