I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wish I could teleport
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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