I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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