we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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