loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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