Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
