If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
