I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
nutella sex= disaster
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
