I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
