dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
