The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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