I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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