Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We need to rekindle our bromance
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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