I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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