So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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