Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
