Do you still have your period?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
