no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
