if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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