I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
