He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
