yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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