I'm drive I can fine osifer
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
