he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
