Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
