The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
